Mr Monokuma, The Substitute Teacher
by Hiyoko's Killer Is Jessie
Summary: This is based off of a Key and Peele skit called 'Substitute Teacher'. You should give it a watch sometime; It's hilarious XD Anyway, Monokuma is the kids' substitute teacher...How well do you think this is gonna go? XD (Rated T for cussing)
1. Mr Monokuma's Entrance

Mr. Monokuma watched in, his arms crossed over his chest as he surveyed his class.

"Good morning, I'm Mr. Monokuma. I'm your substitute teacher and I've taught school for 20 years at Inner-city," He said before setting his clip-board down with a threatening look. "So don't even think about messing with me. Ya feel me?" He finished. The class traded looks before nodding and going back to taking notes or doodling.

Mr. Monokuma nodded to himself and the class. "OK. Now, let's take roll!" He exclaimed, and the class was shocked at his personality change, but they still nodded in understanding.

"Alright, so Jwinquo?" He said with a glance up at the class. The class traded looks with each other once again, all of them either laughing or looking concerned. "Where's Jwinquo at?" Monokuma said again and nodded at the response. "No Jwinquo today? OK." He said before someone raised their hand from the back of the class.

"Yes, young lady?" He points his pen at a girl with blonde curly pigtails held together with a bunny pin and a red-and-white bow. She has a frown on her face before she speaks. "Uh, do you mean Junko? Because that's me." She finished.

Monouma's face immediately grows annoyed. "Oh, so that's how it's gonna be," He starts before waving his arms out. "So you all wanna play?" He says, which scares the other students. He points at her again.

"I have my eye on you, Jwinquo." He says with a threatening look that makes Junko lean back with her hand flat on her chest. Monokuma picked his clipboard up. "Leiohn?" Monokuma says. No one responds. "Where is Leiohn?" He asks with a frown. "So, no Leiohn today?" He asks before crossing his arms. A boy at the back of the class raises his hand.

Monokuma jabs a pen in his vicinity. "Yes, sir?" The monochrome-haired man asks. A boy with spiky red hair and piercings shining on his face has a quizzical look before he decides to speak. "Uh, my name is Leon, dude." He says with a scared look.

Monokuma makes sputtering, annoyed noises before he sets his clipboard onto the teacher's desk roughly, making an audible smack. "Are you out of your fucking mind?" He asks with his lips pressed into a tight frown. "Leon~" He says in a mocking tone, his arms flailing around.

"What?" Leon asks with an annoyed look. Monokuma growls before screeching at the red-headed boy.

"DO YOU WANNA GO TO WAR, LEIOHN!?" Monokuma shrieks. The other kids in the class jump as Leon shakes in fear. "N-No." He stutters. Monokuma doesn't hear, or if he does he doesn't seem to care.

"BECAUSE WE CAN GO TO WAR IF YOU WANT TO! I'M FOR REAL!" Monokuma's voice cracks weirdly as he continues screaming. "N-No!" Leon stutters again as Monokuma continues talking. "I'm for real, so you better check yourself, strawberry boy!" Monokuma yells before going back to his clipboard. Leon nods quickly and busies himself with his doodling again.

Monokuma goes back to his clipboard with one last look at both Leon and Junko. "Cheyehighro?" He says as the others in the class trade looks with scared eyes. Monokuma growls again. "If one of you says some candy ass name, all of you chilliins' are gonna feel my wrath!" He shouts. "Now, Cheyehighro?" He asks again, which makes a girl with layered brown hair and doll-like eyes respond.

"Did you mean Chihiro? Because that's my name..." She asks in a small voice, straightening her green sweater with a weird look. Monokuma lets out a frustrated noise.

"Son of a bITCH!" Monokuma breaks his clipboard over his knee with a loud noise before tossing the broken pieces across the room. He strides closer to where Chihiro is sitting in the front row with a mean look. "You say your name right, RIGHT NOW!" He screams in her face.

"C-Chihiro." She says again. He digs his long nails into his palms.

"SAY IT RIGHT!"

"C-Chihiro!"

"CORRECTLY!"

"Chihiro!"

"SAY IT RIGHT, RIGHT FUCKING NOW!"

"C-CHIHIRO!"

"SAY IT _**FUCKING**_ RIGHT!"

"...Cheyehighro."

Monokuma throws his hands up in the air. "THAT'S BETTER!" His voice breaks from all the shouting, and she groans and copies down the math notes on the board. "Thank you!" He says again, which makes the doll-like girl roll her eyes.

"Now, which one of you if Matkaito?" The other student who haven't been yelled at trade looks again. "Where are you, Matkaito?" He asks again.

No response.

"Where is Matkaito right now?" He asks. The other students trade looks again and shrug their shoulders at the teacher. "No Matkaito right now, huh?" He asks with an edge of annoyance, and the other students prep themselves for another yelling session.

"Well, you better be sick, dead, or mute, Matkaito!" He shouts.

"Here! Oh man..." Says a brunette boy with a gravity-defying ahoge at top of his head in the front row between a girl with lavender hair and pale violet eyes and a boy with tossed blonde hair and glasses. Said students trade sympathetic looks before going back to their work.

Monokuma turns to the boy and places his fists on his hips with a mean look. "And why didn't you answer the first time I said your name, huh?" He says with a warning tone. The boy moves to speak, but Monokuma isn't done yet.

"I'm just- I'm just- I'm just saying because I said it like four times so why didn't you say here the first time I said 'Matkaito'?" Monokuma asks with crossed arms as he nods his head to one side with an angry yet curious look at the boy. Said brunette flinches back before speaking again.

"...Because it's pronounced Makoto?" The boy says, though it's phrased more like a question than a statement.

"SON! OF! A! BITCH!" Monokuma shrieks loud enough to shake the whole high school as he pushes the textbooks on the desk off to the floor with loud sound effects. The other students lean back, and a girl with two purple braids sneezes loudly at the scare in the back of the class.

"yOU DONE MESSED UP NOW, MATKAITO!" The man with a bad dye job yells in Makoto's face. "Now, you take your ass on down to Principal Kairaijairai's office and tell him exactly what you did!" Monokuma yells. The other students trade scared looks.

Makoto looks to his two friends for help, waiting after they shrug to speak again. "...Who?" He says. Monokuma growls loudly into his hands.

"KAIRAIJAIRAI!"

The others trade looks before the boy speaks up again. "...Principal Kirigiri?" He asks. Monokuma tips over his desk and points at the door with an angry look.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY DAMN CLASSROOM BEFORE I SHOVE MY FOOT UP YOUR CANDY ASS!" Monokuma screams before Makoto jumps out of his seat and runs out. Monokuma turns to his two friends and moves closer in a jerky movement before they two take off after their friend. Monokuma nods to himself. "INSUBORDINATE!" He tosses his head to scream at the three teens before he turns back to his mess of a clipboard.

"Mohndo?" No one responds. Monokuma raises an eyebrow and looks back at his clipboard to see if he said it right. "Mohndo?" He asks, and a boy with long black hair and a blonde pompadour raises his hand up. Monokuma nods before turning to the other students again.

"Ceyeleyestia?" He asks, and a girl with long, drill-like black pigtails tied into bows raises her hand with a bored look. "Present." She says with an eyeroll.

"THANK YOU!" Monokuma says before throwing his hands up into the air. The others trade scared looks.


	2. Mr Monokuma's Back

Mr. Monokuma turned to his class before taking roll.

"Jwinquo?" He asks.

"Here." A blonde girl with curly pigtails by the name of Junko says with an eyeroll before she starts writing on her notebook again. "You are indeed here." He smiles sweetly before putting a check mark next to her name.

"Leiohn?" Monokuma asks.

"Right here." A re-headed boy named Leon says, twirling a baseball bat at his side. Monokuma nods. "Uh-huh, here..." He puts a check name next to his name

"Chighhighro?" He tries without turning to the class.

"Here." Chihiro sighs and places her chin in her fist. Monokuma nods with a smile. "Good." He says. He turns to the class. "Satyak?" He asks. A bluenette girl by the name of Sayaka smiles and raises her hand so he can see it. "Good," Monokuma nods.

"Thank you~" He sings and is about to say the next name before a boy speaks up.

"Uh, Mr. Monokuma, sir?" Monokuma turns to the boy and groans when he sees Makoto Naegi with his hand raised.

"What is it, Matkaito?" Monokuma places a check mark next to his name before he looks back up at Makoto. Makoto looks around the room before he speaks with a cautious tone of voice. "S-Some of us have to leave early today." He explains. Monokuma leans back with a sarcastic smile.

"Oh~" He sings with a little laugh "Is that so?~". Makoto's green eyes flicker around the room for help, but it appears that he's on his own.

"M-Mhmm..." He says with a nod, gulping. Monokuma walks up to his desk and places both hands on either side of the boy's desk, ready to flip it over.

"And what, pray tell..." Monokuma asks, leaning close to Makoto's face. "...Is the reason for this premature exodus, young man?" He asks with a slight smile. Makoto leans back and sniffs.

"...Yearbook photos..." He says. Monokuma nods, and Makoto sees this as an opportunity to continue with his explanation.

"Some of is have to leave 15 minutes early to meet up with our clubs..." He finishes with an air of uncertainty. Monokuma leans away and goes back to his desk with a little sarcastic laugh.

"Alright, alright, that might work with other substitute teachers, but I taught in Inner-city! For over 20 years!" He says with a wiggle of his neck which made his head move like a snake. Makoto and the others jump.

"And now all of you hooligans wanna leave my class early to meet up at the club~" He finishes the last word with a rhythmic sound before he sucks in a breath and readies himself to shout.

"NONE OF YOU RAG-TAG CHARACTER TROPES ARE OLD ENOUGH TO GO TO THE DAMN CLUB!" He yells loud enough to may as well have been next to each of them. 'RIDICULOUS!" He throws his arms up into the air.

"Mr. Monokuma?" Kyouko deadpans with a higher raise of her hand, and Monokuma loses his shit.

"SON OF A BITCH!" He screams and breaks his clipboard across his knee again, throwing the cardboard across the room. He gets up in both Makoto and Kyouko's faces. "Did I st-st-st-st-stutter!?" He shrieks in their faces.

"Just then, yes." A blonde boy said with a sniff and an adjustment of his glasses. Monokuma turns to the trio with his arms crossed and his expression showing how fuming pissed he actually was.

"I'm gonna throw you," He points to Makoto. "Your girlfriend," He points to Kyouko. "And your boyfriend," He points to the blonde boy by the name of Byakuya before he points to the window in one jerky motion. "Out of the goddamned window!" He screeches.

Junko raises her hand fearfully. "What is it, Jwinquo!?" He yells. She bristles before she crosses her arms over her developed chest. "Mr. Monokuma, we're telling the truth; We have clubs at the school. We have clubs for special interests." She says. Monokuma throws his hands with a crazy laugh.

"Oh, OK, I see; You all wanna play! You all wanna play~!" He shouts, waving his arms around the room. The others trade looks again with weird expressions. "Alright, I'll play, I'll play your damn games! I'm more than happy to play your shitty games!" He said, and the others bristle.

"You wanna play some games!? Alright; eVERYONE WHO'S IN A DAMN CLUB STAND THE FUCK UP!" He yells, and one by one Junko, Leon, Chihiro, and Makoto stand up with Monokuma laughing in the background.

"Oh, oh, oh! There it is, the usual suspects!" He gestures wildly to all of the students that stood up. He zeroes in on Junko. "What the hell kind of club are you in, Jwinquo?" He says, flashing his long nails at Junko. Junko bristles before twirling her hair.

"Future leaders of Japan." She says with her arms crossed over her chest. Monokuma laughs before zeroing in on Junko once again. "How would you know if you're gonna be a leader in the future!?" He yells, and Junko scowls. "Is there a star gate in your bedroom!? Can you travel through time, Jwinquo!?" He says with wild gestures. Junko leans back. "N-No." She says simply.

"Then sit the flip down, freckles!" He jabs a pen in her direction and she sits down. He turns to Leon with a groan.

"Leiohn, I don't even know why I'm about to ask you this, but what club are you in?" He says with a cross of his arms. "I'm in the Spanish club." He says, and Monokuma groans.

"Spanish clu- Leiohn, you're about as Spanish as Hatesune Mikiu, with your big-ass Fraggle Rock hair!" Monokuma says, and Leon whimpers before he sist back down. He walks over to the front of the last row where Chihiro stands.

"And what about you, Chighhighro?" He asks. Chihiro squares her shoulders. "I'm in the Chess club." She says, clasping her hands at her front. Monokuma's eyes widen as he sputters.

"Babe, you are _not_ in the Chest club." He says, and other girls (Except for Kyouko and Sayaka) gasp. "In the Mosquito Bite club, maybe." He says with a nod. Chihiro blanches. "That's hurtful." She says on her way to sit back down. "Truthful." He says as he makes his way over to Makoto. He laughs.

"Ah, here he is, Matkaito." He says. "Hey..." Makoto says quietly. "What club...are you in?" he says. Makoto looks around before Kyouko stands up, bringing Byakuya up with her.

"W-We're the presidents of the Glee club. Why do I even talk..." Makoto finishes sadly. Maonokuma gets in both of their faces before he starts yelling.

"tHE GLEE CLUB!?" Monokuma yells, flipping over all three of their desks with a warrior cry before turning back to them.

"LIKE THEY'RE GONNA HAVE A CLUB DEDICATED TO A TV SHOW!" He screams after flipping Byakuya's desk last before he points to the door of the classroom. "TAKE YOUR CANDY ASS TO KAIRAIJAIRAI'S OFFICE RIGHT FUCKING NOW, OR I'M GONNA BUST A _CLUB_ IN ALL THREE OF YOUR ASSES!" He yells, and all three of them huddle and walk swiftly towards the door.

"GO!" He yells. "OK, OK!" Byakuya shrieks. "WE'RE GOING!" Makoto holds onto Kyouko's arm as they take off like bats outta hell.

MISCHIEVOUS AND DECEITFUL!" Monokuma yells and slams the door after them.

 _'This is Principal Kirigiri; Students, please report to the Gymnasium for your club photos.'_

"Fake announcement." Monokuma shakes his head the both the announcement and the shocked students.

"Now, does anybody in here have a _valid_ reason for leaving this classroom early?" He says loudly. Celestia raises her hand with an eyeroll. "Yes, young lady?" Monokuma points at her.

"Me and my boyfriend Hifumi have to pick up our daughter." She says with a bored tone.

"You're excused." He says, and Celestia and Hifumi leave the class behind to deal with their pyscho, two-toned teacher.


End file.
